Man Arrested for ‘Slinging’ Genitals and Screaming Obscenities

A 32-year-old Carlos Suarez lost his mind and went full-Caveman recently, which included screaming profanities at police, all while standing butt naked and swinging his penis, like a helicopter.

Charlotte County officers received numerous calls and online reports that all reported a screaming man in his underwear was walking the street.

When police arrived, they found Suarez, who kept running in-and-out of his home while yelling curse words at them. At one point, he emerged stark naked and started ‘slinging his genitals’ at them.

When officers informed Suarez that he has been arrested, he tried to book it through the woods across the street and was tased by police.

His charges include: breaching the police, exposing himself and resisting law enforcement.


Please follow and like us:

Following Argument with Girlfriend, Man Punches Everything

Shortly after a disagreement with his girlfriend, Destinee Fernandez, a 23-year-old Hunter Thomas Bleich started putting fists to everything, because he’s a tough guy!

Bleich first began his temper tantrum at a gas station, when he began punching gas pumps and then entered the car wash and started laying haymakers on the equipment inside.

By the time police arrived, he had already moved on to assaulting a tree, having punched it numerous times. He was sitting on the ground next to his car, his lady in the passenger seat, while enjoying a post-fit cigarette.

He admitted to police that he was so angry after the fight that it caused him to punch everything. Police could smell alcohol on his breath, of which, he also confessed having just left a Christmas party as well.

Before being arrested, he started screaming at Fernandez again, over one of the officers, which prompted them to place him in handcuffs.

Once booked, Bleich started punching the concrete walls at the Naples Jail Center as well.

Bleich made bond and awaits his date in court. Anger management, maybe?


Please follow and like us:

Woman Participates in Seance and Kicks Man in Groin

You might remember the psycho that is Kristie Johnson. Earlier this year, she left her five kids in the car so she could go get drunk at the bar.

Well, she’s in the news again.

Johnson, following a night of drinking, one which included a seance and knocking a man unconscious, is back in jail.

A sober Kenneth Drake was no match for a drunken Johnson. As he was chugging brews and trying to watch NFL Monday Night Football, Johnson wanted attention. She would not be denied.

So, as a form of couples mediation, the two gathered around a candle-lit room to call on spirits!?

Well, the seance didn’t help. Johnson began punching him, grabbed him by the hair and also dragged, scratched and bit him, all while kicking him, but culminating with a huge dong punt, thus crippling the man.

Maybe a spirit made her do it? Did the seance actually work? Were spirits conjured? Was Johnson possessed!?

Drake said, following the attack, that Johnson is never allowed back in his house. He also opted to press charges.

Johnson is currently in the Charlotte County Jail on domestic battery charges.



Please follow and like us:

Man Impersonates Officer with eBay-Purchased Badge and Flashing Lights in Car

A patrolling officer noticed a black, four-door Acura with flashing red-and-blue lights pulling over another driver recently. That driver, a 62-year-old Josue Santiago, had a five-point star badge with the inscription, ‘Deputy Sheriff Charlotte County, Florida’ on it. He bought it on eBay.

Santiago thought he could go ahead and do it because his cousin is a trooper. Additionally to the installed lights, he also had a license plate by the ‘Police Athletic League’ and a plate cover that read, ‘United States of America Law Enforcement Police Officer’.

He told police he didn’t think he was doing anything wrong because he’s ‘volunteered extensively’ with law enforcement.

Needless to say, he was arrested on falsely impersonating an officer charges and, unofficially, for being a douche and throwing his cousin, an actual cop, under the bus.


Please follow and like us:

Woman Attempts to Avoid Arrest by Hiding in Ceiling at Big Lots

A 37-year-old Kristina Perkins attempted her best Catwoman impression recently. She shoplifted a Big Lots and then climbed into the ceiling to evade police capture.

Police stated she went into the bathroom of the joint, removed some tiles and then climbed up into the ceiling. It took them five hours to find her as she ignored commands to come down. When the search was called off, she assumed they had all departed and the day was won, but a lone deputy spotted her coming down and arrested her.

She was charged with theft, criminal mischief and resisting arrest.


Please follow and like us:

Man Steals Uber Driver’s Car, Leaves Him on Side of Road

A 37-year-old Andrew Sullivan hailed an Uber and treated it as self-service after stealing the ride from the driver and abandoning him on the interstate.

Sullivan was seeking a ride from one treatment center, in Fort Myers, to another in Plant City.

The victim claimed that he pulled over after Sullivan claimed he was ‘going to be sick’. After helping him out of the back seat, the assailant hopped into the front and drove off, leaving the Uber driver stranded.

The driver flagged a passing vehicle and phoned 911. Local deputies found the car, undamaged, a few exits up, where Sullivan was located near the vehicle as well, where he was charged with grand theft auto.


Please follow and like us:

Man Shows His Ass to Cops, Stops for a Beer

A man in Charlotte County, namely Brian Arrigo, a fully matured 43-year-old, was arrested for dropping his pants to show his bare ass to police officers before running off to drink a beer.

His reasoning behind the heinous act of mooning cops performing an unrelated traffic stop … unknown.

Deputies report that Arrigo, after showing his butt and running into the forest, was found sitting in said forest while drinking a beer. He was arrested and booked for exposing sexual organs in public and in possession of an open container.

He was released on his own recognizance to continue his butt-related deeds.


Please follow and like us:

Connect with us.