You might remember the psycho that is Kristie Johnson. Earlier this year, she left her five kids in the car so she could go get drunk at the bar.
Well, she’s in the news again.
Johnson, following a night of drinking, one which included a seance and knocking a man unconscious, is back in jail.
A sober Kenneth Drake was no match for a drunken Johnson. As he was chugging brews and trying to watch NFL Monday Night Football, Johnson wanted attention. She would not be denied.
So, as a form of couples mediation, the two gathered around a candle-lit room to call on spirits!?
Well, the seance didn’t help. Johnson began punching him, grabbed him by the hair and also dragged, scratched and bit him, all while kicking him, but culminating with a huge dong punt, thus crippling the man.
Maybe a spirit made her do it? Did the seance actually work? Were spirits conjured? Was Johnson possessed!?
Drake said, following the attack, that Johnson is never allowed back in his house. He also opted to press charges.
Johnson is currently in the Charlotte County Jail on domestic battery charges.
A patrolling officer noticed a black, four-door Acura with flashing red-and-blue lights pulling over another driver recently. That driver, a 62-year-old Josue Santiago, had a five-point star badge with the inscription, ‘Deputy Sheriff Charlotte County, Florida’ on it. He bought it on eBay.
Santiago thought he could go ahead and do it because his cousin is a trooper. Additionally to the installed lights, he also had a license plate by the ‘Police Athletic League’ and a plate cover that read, ‘United States of America Law Enforcement Police Officer’.
He told police he didn’t think he was doing anything wrong because he’s ‘volunteered extensively’ with law enforcement.
Needless to say, he was arrested on falsely impersonating an officer charges and, unofficially, for being a douche and throwing his cousin, an actual cop, under the bus.
A 37-year-old Kristina Perkins attempted her best Catwoman impression recently. She shoplifted a Big Lots and then climbed into the ceiling to evade police capture.
Police stated she went into the bathroom of the joint, removed some tiles and then climbed up into the ceiling. It took them five hours to find her as she ignored commands to come down. When the search was called off, she assumed they had all departed and the day was won, but a lone deputy spotted her coming down and arrested her.
She was charged with theft, criminal mischief and resisting arrest.
A 37-year-old Andrew Sullivan hailed an Uber and treated it as self-service after stealing the ride from the driver and abandoning him on the interstate.
Sullivan was seeking a ride from one treatment center, in Fort Myers, to another in Plant City.
The victim claimed that he pulled over after Sullivan claimed he was ‘going to be sick’. After helping him out of the back seat, the assailant hopped into the front and drove off, leaving the Uber driver stranded.
The driver flagged a passing vehicle and phoned 911. Local deputies found the car, undamaged, a few exits up, where Sullivan was located near the vehicle as well, where he was charged with grand theft auto.
A man in Charlotte County, namely Brian Arrigo, a fully matured 43-year-old, was arrested for dropping his pants to show his bare ass to police officers before running off to drink a beer.
His reasoning behind the heinous act of mooning cops performing an unrelated traffic stop … unknown.
Deputies report that Arrigo, after showing his butt and running into the forest, was found sitting in said forest while drinking a beer. He was arrested and booked for exposing sexual organs in public and in possession of an open container.
He was released on his own recognizance to continue his butt-related deeds.