Man Wakes Up to Male Intruder Sucking on His Toes

A 20-year-old Bradenton man was (allegedly) awoken on Christmas Eve by a burglar who stopped off to suck on his toes!

You read that correctly.

The man was sound asleep when he started to feel a sensation in his feet. When he awoke, he saw a the man committing the deed. The victim told him that he didn’t have any money, of which he replied, “I’m just here to suck on your toes.”


The bizarre incident then turned physical when the suckee wanted his feet out of the sucker’s mouth. The victim then began to reign blows down on the intruder. He punched him several times in the face, while the man proceeded to reach for the victim’s genitals.

That’s when the victim was informed that the intruder had a gun on him, though it was never seen during the altercation. Unfazed by the warning, the victim continued to beat the man. Wearing down the toe sucker, he managed to get away to call the police, forcing the intruder to flee.

The man then punched out a window and began to jump on top of the victim’s car, cracking the windshield. After all that, he finally took off.

The man is described as a black male, standing just under 6-foot-tall and between the ages of 20-25, with a shaved head.

In addition to the charges of sexual assault, criminal mischief, felony burglary and assault and battery, he also caused over $1,000 in damages to the victim’s property and automobile.

Police are currently gathering DNA evidence to try and locate the man.


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Beggar Threatens Woman Who Won’t Give Her $1

A 46-year-old beggar named Melanie Leff was asking for money on a busy four-lane road when a bystander, who was walking by, refused to donate a buck, she decided she’d threaten her until she got that coveted $1 she was seeking.

The woman phoned police after the incident. Police arrived and found Leff still yelling obscenities at each person walking by and every car at the stoplight. Thus, police took her into custody on panhandling charges and engaging in conduct that implies threat or injury.

This isn’t the first time Leff has had a brush with the law. In fact, it’s her second panhandling charge since 2018, when she misused 9-1-1, twice, and also has previous charges of trespassing, possession of drugs and disorderly conduct.

She’s a classy lady!


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Man Steals Uber Driver’s Car, Leaves Him on Side of Road

A 37-year-old Andrew Sullivan hailed an Uber and treated it as self-service after stealing the ride from the driver and abandoning him on the interstate.

Sullivan was seeking a ride from one treatment center, in Fort Myers, to another in Plant City.

The victim claimed that he pulled over after Sullivan claimed he was ‘going to be sick’. After helping him out of the back seat, the assailant hopped into the front and drove off, leaving the Uber driver stranded.

The driver flagged a passing vehicle and phoned 911. Local deputies found the car, undamaged, a few exits up, where Sullivan was located near the vehicle as well, where he was charged with grand theft auto.


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Woman Charged with Burglary Claims She’s Trump’s CIA Handler

Nancy Goins was navigating a refrigerator when police responded to a break-in at 2:30am. When confronted, she went full Jason Bourne and fled the home. Deputies caught up to her and that is when she made some ‘wildly outlandish’ statements.

Goins, 32-years-old, claimed she was a CIA operative in the Special Victims Unit, but that she was also President Donald Trump’s ‘handler’. She also stated that both Bill and Hillary Clinton are her parents, but also that John F. Kennedy who, in her eyes, is still alive, was her parent as well.

Goins eventually admitted to deputies that her claims were untrue.


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