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Man Avoids Arrest by Hiding in Pond, Caught When He Came Up for Air

A 36-year-old Daniel Christopher Booth, in an attempt to evade capture by police, decided to take a chance, strip naked and hide submerged in a pond.

Spoiler alert: It didn’t work.

Booth, who worked at a nearby solar power plant in Wellborn, Fla., was sought by the Suwanee County Sheriffs Office, with warrants for his arrest in hand, for neighboring Baker County, for methamphetamine charges.

When officers arrived on the scene, Booth took off, despite the K9 units being deployed as well. Having garnered a head start, he de-clothed and hid underwater to evade pursuit. However, dogs are a lot smarter than him and hung around till he came up for air. At that point, was taken into custody, shirtless.

The Rambo impersonator was taken into custody at Suwanee County Jail and faces additional charges now as well, including resisting arrest.

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Naked Man Leaves Smeared Frosting and Human Poop All Over Elementary School

A 25-year-old Christian Shay blames marijuana laced ‘with something’ for his most-recent actions at Bear Lake Elementary School.

That’s right, Shay took a few puffs of something unclean and decided to deface the property and here’s what the maniac did:

  • Spreading cake frosting all over teacher’s desks.
  • Left cake frosting handprints and footprints.
  • Left human excrement on a window ledge.
  • Left human excrement handprints and footprints.
  • Dropped a stapler in a toilet.
  • Covered a TV remote in human excrement.
  • Used a child’s sweater to wipe the frosting and poop out of his butt.
  • Tossed the school’s laptops in a trash can.
  • Threw his dirty underwear dangling from the roof.

Video surveillance captured Shay, naked from the waist, down, run from the school after all the deeds. Employees recognized him because he has apparently broken into the school on two other occasions.

Chalk this one up to improper education. He clearly skipped a few grades.

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Man Arrested on Drug Charges Claims Wind Blew Cocaine into His Car

A 37-year-old Joseph Zak was pulled over after failing to complete a stop at a stop sign where police noticed he was in possession of what appeared to be a small bag of drugs.

Zak claims that the wind blew in the small bag of cocaine.

Nonetheless, he was pinned with a misdemeanor drug charge, because it appeared to police that he was making movements in an attempt to throw something away out of the center console when he was pulled over. There was also an open can of Budweiser in the driver door.

The report also claimed he appeared to be carrying the bag leaving the Reno Hotel. So, the wind may have blown it into his hand as well?

He’s currently jailed at St. Lucie County Jail on possession of paraphernalia, while also possibly facing DUI charges as well.

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Florida Feels: Kayaker Rescues Woman in Submerged Car

An 81-year-old woman took a wrong and, extremely dangerous, turn, landing her automobile nearly submerged, overnight, in the waters of Higel Marine Park.

A man’s morning kayak, the next day, thus turned into a rescue mission. He noticed the car, with the woman trapped inside, as the car continued to sink.

The man, who received help from a nearby paddler, was able to help the woman escape through the passenger-side window of the almost-sunken car, of which, had water up to the dashboard.

Emergency responders were notified and promptly brought the woman to the hospital.

The issue was the wrong turn, but also that the Higel Boat Ramp was slick from moss and algae buildup, which led to the car landing in the water, as the brakes failed under the circumstances.

The woman is in stable condition, thanks to the two Florida bros that helped her out of the car.

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Man Dresses as Woman, Robs Bank, Steals Police Car

A 51-year-old thought he (or she) was a criminal mastermind in disguising as a woman and arresting a bank, but after also stealing a police cruiser, which led to a two-county car chase, he’s behind bars, none-the-richer.

That’s right, Gumersindo Reyes got dolled up in a gold dress, equipped with a red wig, long-sleeve shirt and some big-ass white sneakers, entered a Casselberry-based Chase Bank, and passed a note to the teller that ‘demanded money’.

He left the bank, carrying an undisclosed amount of cash. However, he stupidly ditched his getup behind a bush, where a Seminole County deputy noticed the ‘bizarre’ behavior and intervened.

He failed to subdue Reyes with a stun gun, but chased him into a nearby apartment complex. At that point, the deputy then went to draw his firearm, causing a struggle as Reyes attempted to grab it from him.

That is when Reyes ran off, jumped in the deputy’s cruiser and took off.

Reyes then led police on a chase that extended from Seminole County to Orange County, before crashing into a car, where police then apprehended him.

He faces a log list of numerous charges, including big ones like, battery of an officer, resisting arrest with violence and robbery with a firearm.

Reyes, who has a criminal past, including attempted murder in Puerto Rico, is currently in jail and, the unfortunate part for him, he can’t use any of the money he stole for a good lawyer, because he’ll need one.

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Florida Feels: Bar Pulls Over $14K Off Walls to Donate to Bahamas

Big ups to the Siesta Key Oyster Bar, in Sarasota, Fla., for axing a 16-year tradition of pinning dollar bills on its walls and ceiling, to pull it all down in donating to the Red Cross for Hurricane Dorian relief.

The tradition originally hails from an old fisherman’s tale in which sticking money on the wall would secure you a spot and a beer at the bar after a long day’s work.

The donation is for roughly $14,000. The final goal is $15,000. The media coverage is definitely helping as well, as people are coming in droves to donate upward of $50 a visit for the initiative as well.

What’s even more awesome is that this isn’t the first time the establishment has pulled money down off of its structure, having donated over $10,000 to five different local charities.

This team effort gets five thumbs up from all of us here at FLMT.

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Woman Slams Beer Like Stone Cold Steve Austin, Then Beats Boyfriend

Relationships are tough, especially when one side drinks too much. In this case, we have Chastity Bodnar, 23-years-old, versus Coty Lee Havens (26).

Havens told Bodnar that she drinks too much and to make a lifestyle change, which prompted her to slam two beers together, like Stone Cold Steve Austin used to do in his WWE days, before and after matches, then chug said beers, then chase her boyfriend down and proceeded to beat him.

What makes this story all the better is that Havens was also arrested for trying to fight the cops when they arrived. He was also drunk.

Bodnar was arrested on misdemeanor battery charges, but released a day later.

Moral of the story: don’t tell someone they drink too much when you both are drunk.

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Man Announces He Will Kill Hotel Manager to News and is Arrested

David Ashworth, 51-years-old, registered an email to a news outlet that he was going to kill a hotel manager for disrespecting his girlfriend, because Florida.

Ashworth claims the hotelier ‘double charged his credit card and kicks people out’. He then used said girlfriend’s email to write, “I am taking him out next week when I say that you all don’t understand … He made my girl cry now I must make him die.”

He also called the local tv station and told them he was a lawyer. When arrested, he admitted to all accusations and was charged with felony written threats to kill with a set bond at $7,500.

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Jerk Writes Anti-Gay Remark on Receipt, Shoves it Down Manager’s Blouse

Frederic Sterry Smith has been arrested after doing more than just signing his receipt and leaving it on the table at Milagro restaurant.

Smith had a problem with his server because of his sexual orientation, writing, ‘If he wasn’t gay’, on the bill. When confronted at the door, he ripped up the receipt, grabbed the manager’s collar, pulled her shirt open, shoved the scraps of the receipt down her blouse and fled the scene.

This standup dude drove away screaming, “I can say whatever I want, to whoever I want!” and, after being apprehended by police, was charged with simple battery. He was released on $500 bail.

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Woman Pulls a Knife Over a Pizza Slice

Don’t ever come between 22-year-old De’Erica Cooks of St. Augustine, Fla., and her pizza! The woman allegedly pulled a knife and proceeded to ninja the folks behind the corner when denied a slice.

She apparently told the woman behind the corner that she would ‘cut her’ if she didn’t get a slice of pizza, equipped with a steak knife in hand.

She remains in jail and is being charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon.

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