Naked Man Leaves Smeared Frosting and Human Poop All Over Elementary School

A 25-year-old Christian Shay blames marijuana laced ‘with something’ for his most-recent actions at Bear Lake Elementary School.

That’s right, Shay took a few puffs of something unclean and decided to deface the property and here’s what the maniac did:

  • Spreading cake frosting all over teacher’s desks.
  • Left cake frosting handprints and footprints.
  • Left human excrement on a window ledge.
  • Left human excrement handprints and footprints.
  • Dropped a stapler in a toilet.
  • Covered a TV remote in human excrement.
  • Used a child’s sweater to wipe the frosting and poop out of his butt.
  • Tossed the school’s laptops in a trash can.
  • Threw his dirty underwear dangling from the roof.

Video surveillance captured Shay, naked from the waist, down, run from the school after all the deeds. Employees recognized him because he has apparently broken into the school on two other occasions.

Chalk this one up to improper education. He clearly skipped a few grades.


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Man Dresses as Woman, Robs Bank, Steals Police Car

A 51-year-old thought he (or she) was a criminal mastermind in disguising as a woman and arresting a bank, but after also stealing a police cruiser, which led to a two-county car chase, he’s behind bars, none-the-richer.

That’s right, Gumersindo Reyes got dolled up in a gold dress, equipped with a red wig, long-sleeve shirt and some big-ass white sneakers, entered a Casselberry-based Chase Bank, and passed a note to the teller that ‘demanded money’.

He left the bank, carrying an undisclosed amount of cash. However, he stupidly ditched his getup behind a bush, where a Seminole County deputy noticed the ‘bizarre’ behavior and intervened.

He failed to subdue Reyes with a stun gun, but chased him into a nearby apartment complex. At that point, the deputy then went to draw his firearm, causing a struggle as Reyes attempted to grab it from him.

That is when Reyes ran off, jumped in the deputy’s cruiser and took off.

Reyes then led police on a chase that extended from Seminole County to Orange County, before crashing into a car, where police then apprehended him.

He faces a log list of numerous charges, including big ones like, battery of an officer, resisting arrest with violence and robbery with a firearm.

Reyes, who has a criminal past, including attempted murder in Puerto Rico, is currently in jail and, the unfortunate part for him, he can’t use any of the money he stole for a good lawyer, because he’ll need one.


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