Sunday Funnies

Sunday Funnies, Vol. 26

  1. Woman Kicks Officer in Groin During Arrest – A 43-year-old Sharee Sandoval had the police called on her during a verbal dispute with her boyfriend recently. The two had been drinking and arguing at the Roadway Inn Motel. It resulted in Sandoal ‘mule kicking’ the arresting officer in the groin. As she continued to kick at the officer, he was forced to punch her in the back of the head. She’s currently in Gallatin County Jail (Montana) on $5K bond (READ).
  2. Man’s Photos Go Viral After Being Locked in 24-Hour Fitness – Dan Hill, a Utah native, was left inside his gym after employees had left, locking him behind the front door. So, he made the most of it, posting pictures of himself swimming and navigating the gym, calling it really a ’20-Hour Fitness’. Just before 1 am, after phoning police, the doors were unlocked and he posted a picture noting his freedom (READ).
  3. Woman in Disguise Tries on Watch and Runs Out of the Mall – Video captured a woman in disguise, decked out in sunglasses and a fur coat, at an S.M. Diamond Center at the North DeKalb Mall in Atlanta recently, as she is seemingly pondering the purchase, and then runs out of the store. The Rolex is valued at just under $5,000 and she made her getaway in a Mitsubishi Eclipse Cross, which was waiting for her outside. The owner runs around the corner in an attempt to catch her in a heated foot race, however, the woman was able to escape successfully (WATCH).
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Sunday Funnies, Vol. 25

  1. Man Calls Cops on Girl During Rough Sex – A 24-year-old Kristan Parris got a little too into it during a recent love-making session with her boyfriend, Taylor Hayes. She started to bite and scratch him, which prompted Hayes to phone police during sex. She also apparently punched him several times, leaving bite marks, scratches and bruises, which were all shown to police. She had taken off prior to police arriving, so a warrant was issued. She was later booked on domestic violence and assault charges, while serving some time in Metro Nashville Jail (READ).
  2. Men’s Beards May Contain More Germs Than Dog’s Fur – That’s right, a bearded man may indeed carry more yucky than a sweet doggy dogg, per a recent study. The test took samples of 18 men and 30 dogs, resulting in higher microbial counts in the beards than in the dogs and seven of those men contained health-threatening germs as well (READ).
  3. Parrot’s ‘Let Me Out’ Cries Prompts Police Visit – A neighbor heard ‘chilling cries’ of someone crying ‘let me out’ recently and called police. Turns out, it was her neighbor’s pet parrot. The Parrot’s name is Rambo and it doesn’t like being in a cage. Video shows the neighbor working on his car, the parrot crying out and police arriving (WATCH).
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Sunday Funnies, Vol. 24

  1. Palm Reader Scams Mother Out of $70K, Saying Her Daughter is Possessed – Tracey Milanovich was charged with larceny, intimidation of a witness and obtaining property by trick after telling a Massachusetts woman that her daughter was possessed by a demon. Milanovich told the mother that she needed all the money, which totaled north of $70,000, to ‘banish the demon from her daughter’s body’. The scam resulted in a total of roughly $71K (READ).
  2. Man Steals Truck (and Goat), Taking Both on Three-State Drive – Brandon Kirby, 40-years-old, carjacked a truck outside of a adult video store in Missouri recently. The pickup also had a sleeping man and a goat inside of it as well. The incident started when the driver of the truck went in to buy some porn and the passenger fell asleep. When he woke up, a masked man was driving. Kirby pistol-whipped the man and threatened him numerous times, before finally leaving him (and the goat) on the side of the road. In all, the ordeal lasted over 130 miles, from Missouri to Oklahoma, while Kirby was high on meth. Kirby was finally arrested and garnered a laundry list of charges, including kidnapping, felony possession of a firearm and grand theft (READ).
  3. Man Threatens Woman with BB Gun – A 31-year-old Ryon Dean Walters, of Idaho Falls, threatened a woman with a BB gun recently. Walters allegedly pointed the gun and informed the woman he’d shoot. No information was given as to what caused the incident, but a witness saw Walters leave his vehicle with the pistol in-hand. He was arrested on charges of aggravated assault after police found a container of BBs and some CO2 cartridges as well (READ).
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Sunday Funnies, Vol. 23

  1. Man Steals Car, Unaware of Owner Sleeping in the Backseat – Joseph Allen, of New Mexico, stole a car recently, unaware that Ignacio Baca, of Las Cruces, was asleep in the backseat. Allen stole the 2006 Toyota Corolla in Vado, N.M., of which Baca was sleeping in, following a fight with his girlfriend. Baca left the car running when he fell asleep and woke to find Allen driving him down I-10. Allen was charged with aggravated battery, auto burglary and kidnapping of an adult, among numerous other chargers as well (READ).
  2. Woman Punches Another Woman for Wishing Her a ‘Merry Christmas’ – A 32-year-old Henrietta Bush was definitely not in the holiday spirit when she decided to assault another woman for wishing her well for the holiday. Instead of replying, ‘you too’, she opted instead to punch the woman numerous times. She was charged with a few assault charges and spent Christmas night in jail (READ).
  3. Bank Robber Tosses Money in the Air, Screaming, ‘Merry Christmas!’ – David Wayne Oliver robbed a bank and then wanted to spread the holiday cheer. The Colorado Springs native used a weapon to threaten the teller, took the money and then ‘started to throw the money all over the place’. Then he walked next door to Starbucks and waited there for police to arrive (READ).
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Sunday Funnies, Vol. 22

  1. Mother Leaves 3 Kids in Bus Overnight to go Party on a Boat – A 33-year-old Andrea L Kerins left her three children, ages 3, 6 and 9, alone in a short bus, overnight, with a bucket to go to the bathroom in, so she could go party on a vessel with Yuri Radzibaba (46). A patrolling Gulfport police officer noticed the bus and children and quickly reported it. The mother was found, drunk and high, and taken into custody, while the kids are currently with the Florida Dept. of Children and Families. She has been charged with three counts of felony child neglect (READ).
  2. Doorbell Camera Captures Man Pooping on Porch for Hours – Homeowner Scott McCoy was in Denver and catching up on footage of front porch visitors when he received a notification of a new person stopping by. The unidentified drunk man, realizing he had no idea where he was, can be seen as visibly intoxicated. He first walks to the front of the porch, takes a dump and falls in it, then attempts to come back to the door, pants around his ankles, and falls again (WATCH).
  3. Driver Uses Too Much Air Freshener, Lights Cigarette, Car Blows Up – Yep, it happened in that order. Gas from the aerosol can caused the explosion, because of the overuse of the spray. The blast was actually so powerful that nearby businesses and flats suffered damage to their windows. Amazingly, the driver emerged unscathed and injury-free, having climbed out amid the flames. (READ).
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Sunday Funnies, Vol. 21

  1. Social Media Influencer Holds Man at Gunpoint – That’s right. The ‘Polo’, aka Rossi Lorathio Adams II earned more than 10 years in prison because of his decision to have his cousin hold a man at gunpoint, all for a website domain name. The owner of ‘doitforstate.com’ declined to sell Adams the site, so Hopkins (cousin) went there and, following a scuffle, the man was shot in the leg, but Hopkins was shot multiple times as well (READ).
  2. Bodybuilder Pays for Sex Doll to Get Plastic Surgery, Then Proposes to It – You read that correctly. After 8 months of pure bliss, Yuri Tolochko, a bodybuilder and ‘actor’, has proposed to his sex doll, Margo. He claims she helps him in the kitchen and that the two argue sometimes, stating, ‘She swears, but there is a tender soul inside’. The future is clearly here and it is super weird and awkward (READ).
  3. Powerful Storm Washes ‘Exposed Penis Fish’ on Shore – The creatures are actually called ‘Fat Innkeeper Worms’ and are a type of spoonworm. Predators to the animal include many other fish and sea-monitoring birds, but also seals and even sharks. It is considered a delicacy raw (ew!) in countries like, South Korea, Japan, China and Russia. (READ).
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Sunday Funnies, Vol. 20

  1. Man Stabs Dealer to Death Because of ‘Bad Meth’ – That’s right, 33-year-old Las Vegas native, Christopher Kidd, was arrested after he stabbed Antoine Anthony Gorum (26) to death over what turned out to be bath salts. A fight broke out when Gorum and a friend approached Kidd about the ‘bad meth’ that he sold them. That is when the stabbing occurred. Kidd managed to get away and was picked up later by police as he was in disguise as a drag queen, in women’s clothing, while rocking a red wig as well (READ).
  2. United Airlines Passenger Stung Multiple Times by Scorpion – An unnamed woman, who boarded flight 1554, from San Francisco, bound for Atlanta, was stung multiple times by a scorpion, which clearly boarded without a ticket. The incident happened when she felt a stinging sensation on her leg, so she went to the bathroom to see what it was. That’s when the scorpion fell out of her pant leg. Flight attendants were able to catch it and kept it in a box until arriving in ATL, where the woman was treated for her injuries (READ).
  3. Man Charged for Robbery for Stealing Cigarettes – The struggle is real and cigarettes are getting expensive. That said, it’s silly to be arrested for stealing something smoke puffers. However, that’s what Daquon Taylor did … and has been doing. Taylor is apparently a convenience store serial burglar and has has been walking into numerous gas stations to steal cigarettes. Prior to his arrest, he has been linked to almost six other robberies. It might be time to switch to the patches (READ).
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Sunday Funnies, Vol. 19

  1. Former Reality TV Show Celebrity Arrested for Shoplifting – Jerod Sechrist (33), formerly of Deadliest Catch, has now been arrested for the second time in as many months. He was previously detained for possession of heroin. The latter is for having tried to lift $1,000 in items from Ikea. He’s currently in jail on $2,000 bond (READ).
  2. Man Believes Dinner is Possessed and Tells Him to Kill Sister – A 32-year-old Khalid Ashraf, of London, was arrested for killing his sister. He believed his chicken dinner to be possessed by the devil, but also that of his Buddhist leader, in which, they told him to commit the murder. Ashraf, a gay man, apparently became depressed for having contracted HIV in 2017, which might have led to the brutal attack, but he had been in a state of paranoid psychosis prior (READ).
  3. New Mexico Woman Attempts to Murder Neighbor with a Cinderblock – An argument almost turned deadly when Jessica Lee Griewahn (26) decided it was time to equip a cinderblock, of which she hurled at the victim, striking her in the head. She’s currently being held without bond on aggravated battery with a deadly weapon charges (READ).
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Sunday Funnies, Vol. 18

  1. Feral Hogs ‘Sniff Out’ Cocaine in Forest – The pigs came across over $22,000 in cocaine, which was hidden by a tree in an Italian forest in the Valdichiana Valley. Four suspects were arrested in the drug smuggling ring, while the hogs were unbelievably tweaked (READ).
  2. The Popeyes Chicken Sandwich Leads to Fisticuffs – A brawl broke out between two California couples after one, per the drive-thru, was upset at a botched order. The driver was asked to come in, of which was refused, the car behind them honked and then an absolute couple fight ensued (WATCH).
  3. Maryland Bank Teller Robs Senior Citizen After Big Withdrawl – A 19-year-old Nathan Newell, the bank teller, followed a 78-year-old man home to attempt in taking the money. He knocked on the door, grabbed the man by the throat and threatened him. His granddaughter attempted to intervene, where Newell then assaulted her as well. He fled when he couldn’t find the money, but was found via doorbell cam footage (READ).
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Sunday Funnies, Vol. 17

  1. Woman Fakes Cancer Diagnosis and Profits on GoFundMe – Jessica Ann Smith, a 31-year-old Chester, Penn., native, thought she’d try to beat the system in starting a GoFundMe campaign for her fake Cancer diagnosis. She earned over $10,000 before police stepped in. Once arrested, warrants revealed she also had pending charges of deception, impersonating an officer and theft. She’s a keeper (READ).
  2. Waffle House Sees Customers Jump Behind the Counter – The establishment runs on its motto that it never closes for anything, which was apparent after other workers bailed and left the diner to be run by a sole Birmingham, Ala., employee and its customers. After one customers asked for an apron, he got behind the counter and started cooking. Other customers then began bussing tables and doing the dishes as well. A spokesman said a scheduling miscommunication led to the issue (READ).
  3. Man Gets Side of Weed with Sweet Tea – A man recently received an unexpected side order of a controlled substance to go along with his sweet tea. He ordered his tea with light ice and extra lemon, which led him to believe that was code phrase for a side of marijuana. He only paid for the tea, so apparently the knuckle of weed was a bonus (READ).
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